February is ‘Love Month’ … it’s the month of St Valentine’s. Typically it’s a time for romantic greeting cards, flowers, romantic dinners, love, passion … and maybe some sex. The day is a reminder for our relationships to become a little more more loving, caring, considerate, more intimate and passionate towards each other.
It’s said ‘all we need is love’. Yet, sadly so many people lack love in their lives. What’s more, so many people actually lack love for themselves. Yet, interestingly, it seems that the more we love our-self, the more we are loved in return. More so, the more we love life.
What is Love
The question is so often asked, what is love? Love maybe the biggest of all topics. The Dalai Lama says that love is the absence of judgement. Philosophically we may proclaim that love is stronger than fear. You may have heard words like; “Love is the solution”, “All you need is love” and the “power of love”. The late Louise L. Hay, was the author of the international bestseller You Can Heal Your Life with more than 50 million books sold worldwide. Louise said; “When we really love ourselves, everything in our lives work.” So lets have a little deeper look into the power of love.
It’s often thought that love is about desire, passion, empathy, respect, honour, reverence and so on. It may also be about lust. Actually, it can mean so many different things to many different people. We may say that one of the main loves is to have the love of life. How much do you love your life? Give yourself a rating from zero to one hundred. And then ask yourself, what would make it one hundred percent?
There aren’t enough words in our language to adequately describe the many different types of love. Love has been described as the most powerful force in the world, and said to have the power to heal all ills. It’s also said that ‘There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer’. Eastern spiritual gurus and mystics maintain that since we are a creation of God and God’s true is love, it is our very true nature to love. Sant Kirpal Singh remarked, “Love is innate in our souls; we need only awaken it” There is no goal beyond love because love is both the beginning and the end of the path. Only with a lack of love, and when fear creeps in do we suffer in life.
Love V’s Fear
Its said there’s two basic motivating forces: fear and love. If we’re not loving we’re in fear. When we are in fear, we contract and pull back from life. When we are in love, we expand and open to all that life has to offer with acceptance, excitement, vigor and passion. Let’s look a little deeper.
Fear is a primitive, instinctual, unconscious reaction whereas love is a more conscious, deliberate, integrative response. We could say that love is much the same as consciousness. We are organic beings, not machines. We all have physical and emotional needs for our well being. We have aspirations, the ability to respond to situations, to choose our path in which we travel. Love is our evolutionary journey. The choices we make determines our destiny. We can make these choices either from fear or love. Love is caring. As we care we are compassionate for another. With compassion we also embrace anothers’ pain and suffering. In essence we feel what they feel. When we love all we may enjoy heaven on earth. We often seek love from another so that we can feel better about ourself. Being in love can help us to feel good, and maybe help us be happy. Yet love shouldn’t be confused with happiness.
There’s many reason why people lack love for themselves. So many people suffer a multitude of negative emotions. Many suffer shame, guilt, remorse, regret, despondency and much more. Many of these emotions can be from unconscious habits. These harbored and suppressed negative emotions can play havoc with many areas of your life. They especially affect our relationships and love life. It’s so crucial that we deal with our underlying issues of love. These negative thought patterns, unconscious habits, sabotaging emotions can affect our love for our-self, our loving relationships and our love for life.
We all need to learn to love ourselves first. We need to accept our-self in all of our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot embrace our-selves for who we truly are, we cannot be fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create a loving life. In my self-empowement seminar I cover some of the key aspects for self love, being about self-acceptance, self-appreciation, self-reflection and self-realisation.
Self love is analogous to self care. How do we do this? Be aware of how our emotions affects us. Instead of masking our feelings and emotions and acting them out unconsciously, choose to become more aware of them. Question yourself and ask what is the core belief from they stem from. And then clearly express them in a loving way. Choose to take a perspective from love, let go of anything you feel no longer serves where you want to be. Remember you are an infinite being of love and can create your reality the way you choose to. Choose to resonate with the real truth of your being, the core of your being, love. To love ourselves, we totally accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are.
There’s so many situations where we may become become upset, annoyed, suffer overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, confusion, fear, phobia. Sometimes we may feel a lack of motivation, desire, purpose, maybe a loss of confidence, assertiveness, esteem, feel disorientated or disenchanted with reality. As difficult as it may seem, all of these stem from fear whereas love has an infinite abundance of enthusiasm, confidence and power.
This ‘Valentine’s Day’ ‘make a resolution to do what it takes to have more love in your life. Remember, to love another, first we must be able to love our-self and then we can love life. Do what is necessary to build a lifestyle that you not only enjoy, yet passionately are in love with everyday. Every day, do what it takes to feel excitement, passion, desire and …. this level of enthusiasm will override any level of resistance that may get in the way. Get in touch with the reason why you love. Build the ‘Why’ up so great! .. that the ‘Why’ is big enough so its power will override any resistance to getting caught up in all of the negative, fearful illusions. And, if it seems that fear is the underlying cause for the lack of love, then just choose to try love for a change.
Loiuse says that she has found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is to love yourself. She said that when people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.Just imagine how such a wonderful adventure it can be to love yourself and to love the whole of your life.
10 Top Tips to Love Yourself More
– Practice being aware of any negative, adverse self-criticism and how it can stem from fear and unconscious sabotage patterns. Basically, take look at the areas in your life that you’re struggling as a reflection of these negative habits.
– Practice becoming more aware of your perception of reality. Whilst honoring yourself and your situation in life as being perfect and divine just the way it is also look for ways of enhancing your experiences with greater gratitude.
– Become more aware of ‘contrasts’ – being different ways of looking at anything. Just as there is night and day, observe how there couldn’t possibly be a positive without a counteracting negative. Look for ways of turning negative situations into a more positive perspective.
– Become more responsible. Acknowledge that somehow you have created negativity as a way to fulfill a need and how that need basically stems from fear. Then observing that need find new, positive loving ways to create more inspiring passions. Acknowledge how we can only do our very best at the time with the awareness that we have.
– Practice greater appreciation, gratitude, forgiveness, patience, gentleness and kindness with your-self, others and life in general.
– Consider that with any conflict, it is far better to be kind than to be right. Aim to look at things also from another perspective.
– Remember to praise yourself and others as much as you can. Take time to celebrate, to acknowledge how well we’re doing,
– Build a loving support group of friends who you can trust, for help without judgement,
– Take care of your body as your temple. Learn about the benefits of enjoying good food, nutrition, exercise and deep relaxation.
– Remember to look for ways to embrace greater abundance, more fun, joy, desire and passion in your life.
Remember, our heart has an intelligence. Many people say they don’t love themselves because they’re too stressed. Hence, they’re caught-up in their head. Stress can affect us in so many ways. I will discuss the above in much more detail in my book; Stress Mastery.
Also, to find out more, inquire about my upcoming ‘BLISS-MOJO’ seminar and Play-Shop …. Do what you love … Love what you do … for more practical ways of bringing these 10 top tips into our daily life. If you have a desire to reignite your passion, boost your self-growth, feel inspired to discover more about yourself, and bring more adventure into your life, then I strongly recommend to come along and join us for an evening of fun, laughter, and maybe tears, and surprise!
For more info. & to book for the upcoming ‘BLISS-MOJO’ seminar and Play-Shop – please click here –